Next Evidence Thrills Rar
We all have different reasons for signing up, we all have different backgrounds, situations, abilities, mentalities, and goals. As I scroll through the introductions everyone has written, I am inspired, motivated, and come to the realisation that I am not alone. I have spent the last 8 months trying to jump back on the wagon (oohhh.I hope it's the bandwagon! SEE: another blog post about how fun that would be!), I have not been comfortable in my skin, my head, or the world really. I've been closing myself off and losing myself in the process. I should have listened to my mother, she told me to get out and surround myself with people.
Easier said than done. Anyway, homework.and community, that is what I am supposed to be talking about. Gave us an assignment as part of our commitment ceremony(?), and though I don't know any of these other women, they are my tribe. United in our quest to live our best lives. This community is all about action.we will quit, start, visit, accept, honour, make, see, learn, give, eat, have, be, act, grow, invent.and if I may add my own verb IMPROVE our lives in the process.
Day 2 of January badassery. Day 2 of my commitment to the #allgooddays challenge, and day 11 (feels like one million) of this cold. I have no energy, I am coughing up a storm, and I have about 11 million 30 day challenge exercises to complete because of my level of enthusiasm yesterday. Honestly, I feel like a push-up may make my head explode. Can I delay for one more day without it sounding like an excuse?
I WILL NOT QUIT. But, I may actually need to rest a bit.and keep eating a clean diet with lots of fluids. Now, does anyone know the calorie count for cough syrup? No seriously.are we talking like 35 per tablespoon or what? Chomping at the bit and ready to go! In addition the #allgooddays challenge, I set a bunch of goals on my food journaling app, and decided to start a 30 cardio challenge, a 30 day abs challenge, a 30 day arm challenge, a 30 day butt challenge, a 30 day pushup challenge, and a 30 day squat challenge (all of which were miraculously already on my smart phone from resolutions ago).
Yes, that may have been overkill.but I am nothing if not enthusiastic. Planning is the fun part.and lists are great too, along with these apps, and lest we forget count down clocks! Ooohhhh.the excitement of it all! I may have over done the screen time. I seemed to be viewing the world through blue coloured glasses. Time to disconnect from all devices.
As for January, I pulled the bear. The beginning of the year, a perfect time for waking from spiritual hibernation, and for starting anew.
'At first the movement and effort is difficult, but the bear knows it's time to awaken and move toward the dawning light. The bear card represents an individual on the cusp of new directions and personal transformation.' I have already said that these cards are a way for me to focus, I see bear as a metaphor for my seeing the light. My recovery from unhealthy habits, mindsets, and self sabotage. Time to walk a different path, time to find my purpose again. I am a stereotype.here we go again. The beginning is always so engaging and fulfilling.
I get butterflies around you, thinking of what is to come. I promise to be true and you give me so much freedom.but sometimes I take liberties. Forget to check in. But when I wake up to you the next morning.with all those things swirling in my head that I want to say to you, well, you know me, I can't resist a little morning write. If I don't get to it early, sometimes I don't get to it at all. And I've been a bit fickle in the last couple of years.and I feel like I want to get to know you again.
Next Evidence Thrills Rar
I guess before I do anything I should write some of my goals down. Classic Suzie, plan everything.
To say that I want to lose weight is an understatement.I want to be where I was in 2013 right about now.2014 would be even better, and where I was in 2015 was in a significantly better place than where I was in 2016.but 2016 wasn't bad at all.so WTF is up with 2017? Well, I have fallen off the wagon.
There's only so much I can do to hide this weight gain before I just start hiding myself. I haven't been outside in days.guess I am in hiding. So, Goal #1 - do something, anything, healthy. And Goal #2 - be grateful that you did that something/anything. Now the last thing I want to do at this moment is weigh myself, because that will cause me to break down knowing all the damage that I have done to this incredible body over the last few months/years.
But, the pain I suffered yesterday from simply walking around the house doing a few simple tasks was somewhat of a wake-up call. If I don't do something about this weight fast, I'm going to live in chronic pain brought on by junk food and inactivity, and that sucks more than being a little bit hungry from time to time and getting sweaty every day at some point. I can do this.again. I have always had very good memory.
I remember random things that happened in high school a million years ago, and I'll also remember what everyone was wearing when it happened. Stored in the deepest recesses of my mind are completely obscure facts about ancient mythology from my years of studying Classics at Concordia University, modern cooking techniques learned by watching far too much Food Network, horticulture for balconies and window boxes via my mother, and strangely almost all of the lyrics to arbitrary songs from the 1990s. That's how my memory works.like an elephant, I remember things. Things I forgot about being obese:. Always waking up in the wet spot (from night sweats, get your mind out of the gutter). Shaving various parts of your body involves rigorous effort and training in contortion. Sometimes towels don't fit.
Getting yourself into a bra is an intricate mix of origami and optimism (and you still get double boob, side boob, under boob). Dress code is always back, with a generous helping of loose and leggings. Being overly effected by anxiety and depression. Low self esteem and a lack of confidence. The cycle of binge eating.
Hopelessness.